Adventures and Anniversaries in Busan

Since we had our LASEK surgery done in Busan, we've had to go back every few weeks for check ups.  We've enjoyed the onsens of Japan and we wanted to try the jjimjilbangs of Korea.  So back in June, we took the opportunity to visit Spa Land after a recommendation from a friend.  It is located in the Shinsegae Department Store in Centum City and is Busan's largest and most modern spa.  We paid ~15,000won each to get in and we were given four hours to do as we pleased.  Alan and I went our separate ways and I headed to the baths.

The onsen we visited in Japan was remote, quiet, and peaceful, with few people present.  Spa Land was crowded and noisy but it had dozens of baths to choose from. There are baths ranging from cold to very hot, sodium bicarbonate baths, salt baths, and an outdoor bath.  As per bathhouse etiquette, I soaped off before getting in.  There's also a room off to the side where you can get a body scrub from the professional scrubbing ajummas dressed in the professional bra and panties scrubbing attire.  They just charge the fee to your locker key and you pay the balance when you turn it back in.   The old ladies took me in and had me lie on a slab where they promptly dumped water all over me and proceeded to scrap my skin off...I mean scrub me.  It wasn't the most comfortable of experiences I've had and she certainly wasn't shy about making sure ALL of me was clean.  But when I came out, my skin was soft, shining, and gorgeous.  


After I finished bathing, I got dressed in the cotton shirt and shorts provided for you.  The women were dressed in red, the men in beige.  I headed out to the communal area where Alan and I peeked through the saunas.  They have all sorts of different sauna designs that are supposed to promote specific things as you sit and relax.  There was a snack bar and an outside foot bath as well as a restaurant, massage chair area,  and other fun places on the third floor.

It was a good experience, both cultural and just for relaxation's sake.  My fellow expats in Korea should definitely give it a go.

Foxy Botique (Busan)

Chocolate Motel (Daegu)

Hera Motel (Daegu)

Hera Motel (Daegu)

This past weekend was our first wedding anniversary and I can't believe that it's been a year already.  We had another eye checkup in Busan so we decided to make a weekend of it.  Friday evening, we took a bus from the Intercity Bus Terminal directly to Haeundae where we booked a love hotel for two nights.  Now, if you've never stayed in a love hotel, you should....because it's always quite the experience.  The buildings are bright and full of colorful lights and the interior is decorated with amusing attempts at romantic or erotic quotes.  They're generally quite a bit nicer than normal hotels as well.  I've included pictures from a couple different ones we've stayed at this year.

A street full of love motels in Haeundae, Busan

Crazy Mr. J's magic show

That evening, we grabbed dinner at Hello Thai, which was just down the street from the hotel.  It was a nice restaurant with the fastest service I've ever seen.  The waitress waited a bit from our table until we were ready to order and within 5 minutes our food was on the table.

We took a walk down to Haeundae Beach after dinner where Alan ended up being recruited to help with a magic show.

At the peak.

We spent Saturday hiking up Jangsan.  The trails aren't always well marked and it's not something that really gets the heart pumping, but it's still a great hike and we really enjoyed ourselves.  And it's located on a mine field.  So it's generally advisable to not wander off.

We came across the whiniest cat I've ever seen.

Watch out for the mines.

Stone River

View from the stone river.

We had dinner that evening at the Wolfhound, an Irish pub.  The food was excellent and it seems to be a pretty popular foreigners' bar.  We topped our anniversary weekend off with some ice cream from Baskin Robins before heading back to Ulsan the next morning.





Our life at the moment is like the calm before a storm.  In just over 2 weeks, we'll be headed to Budapest for a week and a half, spend a day and night in Hong Kong, followed by the zouk congress in Malaysia after that.  After all of that, we'll come back to Korea for four days before flying home to the States. Everything is winding down and the goodbyes have already started.  Being an expat has its ups and downs.  I'm so excited to go home, see all of my family and friends, and start the next stage of our life in Colorado.  But now that it's actually time to go, I know that there's a lot about my life here that I'm going to really miss.


So here's what I'll miss about living in Korea...

1. The community.

I don't want to get overly gushy, but I've loved being a part of the community here.  I'm going to miss these incredible people, both expat and Korean, that I've spent so much time with every week for the past year.  Even if it hasn't been very long, I feel that we were able to make some strong friendships that I hope will last.  We'll miss you guys.


2. Fast internet and cheap data

South Korea has an average download speed of 53 Mbps.  The internet at my workplace gets 72Mbps download and 43 Mbps upload.  And I get unlimited data for my smartphone for ~50,000won/month.  Who wouldn't miss this?


3. The food

I really hated Korean food when I first got here.  Coming from the high sugar, high fat, processed American diet, everything tasted bland and unsatisfying.  Now after a year of eating Korean food every day, the cravings for food back home come less often if at all and I actually find myself craving Korean food instead.

4. Public transport

Neither of us own a car in Korea and we haven't even driven since we got here.  There's no need to.  We can get anywhere we need to via public transport.  Sometimes, I think it may even be more convenient to take the bus and not have to worry about parking.  And long commutes are much better when you can occupy yourself with something other than the road and cars in front of  you.  I'll definitely miss not have to drive.

5. The challenge

During our Christmas stay in Hawaii, Alan and I felt like we were being spoiled.  Everything was too easy being in English.  We didn't have to work to understand anything.  In Korea, I get a mental workout everyday trying to converse in Korean or even just trying to communicate in and understand broken English.  I also feel that my prestigious miming skills will go to waste in the States.  As inconvenient as it can be at times, I will really miss the immersion.

6. Our apartment

I like the interior style of Korean apartments.  Everything is completely modern, the sliding doors are pretty cool (even if they're not exactly sound proof), and it's much easier to clean your bathroom when it's made to just hose down.  Plus, we have mountains in our backyard to hike through and the path along Taehwa River just a few minutes walk away.  The scenery is beautiful and we've had so many wonderful conversations wandering about the mountains and river.  And we can dance on our roof! I'm going to miss our first home together.


We've made so many memories here in Korea and it makes me somewhat sad that it's time to leave.  It certainly has been an unforgettable first year of marriage.

LASEK in Korea

If you're in South Korea and you're ever planning to have LASIK/LASEK done, I'd definitely recommend getting it done while you're here.  In the states, the average cost is around $3600 and can go up depending on how bad your eyesight is.  In Korea, you're charged a flat rate that's generally less than half the cost of it's American counterpart.  Given how cheap it is here, Alan's been planning to go under the laser since we got here.  I was not originally planning to do so myself but I eventually succumbed to Alan's prodding that I might as well do it too.

Alan did loads of research on the various procedures available and the doctors and facilities that we could choose from.  After comparing the various procedures, we both decided to have all-laser LASEK done.




To do the corrective surgery, you have to access the inner cornea.  The procedures differ in how that layer is reached.
So here's a quick overview on LASIK vs LASEK.

During LASIK, a flap is made with the outer layer of your cornea and is moved aside while the laser re-shapes your cornea.  It is then replaced just as before.  There is only mild discomfort involved post-surgery and the healing process only lasts a day or two.

During LASEK, the epithelium that covers your eye is loosened with an alcohol solution and pushed to the side for the laser.  It is then replaced and left to heal.  The recovery and vision stabilization process is longer and more painful for this procedure.

All laser LASEK (which we had done) is similar to PRK in the fact that the epithelial layer is completely destroyed during the procedure but uses the laser to do so.  The recovery process is also longer and rather painful for this procedure because the epithelial cells have to regenerate (though it's supposed to be somewhat shorter than normal LASEK).  It also takes longer for your vision to stabilize-sometimes several months and your vision may be hazy for a while.



So why'd we pick the more miserable procedure?  Because a flap is created during LASIK, there's always the chance that it could open back up if you hit your head hard enough.  We're not exactly planning to knock our brains around, but I like having the peace of mind  of never having that possibility.  All laser LASEK is also supposed to have a somewhat shorter recovery time than normal LASEK because the affected area of the epithelium is smaller than in normal LASEK where you push the whole thing off to the side.






We ended up going to Sojunghannun Ophthalmology Clinic in Haeundae-gu, Busan and they were wonderful.  The clinic itself was extremely modern and probably the cleanest medical facility I've ever seen.  Before the surgery, you're required to go through a load of vision and eye tests and then consult with the doctor about your options. The nurses were all kind and comforting and Dr. Kim had a calming voice and good personality.  They have individual waiting rooms each equipped with their own massage chairs and lockers and they bring you a tray with cake and warm milk tea for while you wait and think about lasers slicing through your eyes.  You also receive a complimentary 16GB USB drive.



When it was time for the surgery, the nurse came in and dressed me up.  I went first because I wasn't sure if I could go through with it if I went second.  The nurse took my arm in one hand and put her other arm around my shoulders as she led me to the procedure room. Given my state of near panic at the thought of watching lasers cut into my eyes, it was very comforting.   The room has a two door system and you're given an air shower before entering.  They numbed my eyes with eye drops and started the procedure, one eye at a time.  One nurse's job was just to hold my hands the entire time (she held Alan's as well) and it was much appreciated.  That's definitely something I appreciate about Korea.  I don't think you have a designated hand holder for your surgery in the States.

The operation itself went smoothly and the laser itself was only uncomfortable.  You have to stare at the red light in the center, but once the laser's on, it becomes increasingly difficult to maintain your focus.  The worse your prescription is, the longer your laser time.  I went around 20 seconds for each eye while my nearly blind husband had to endure over 40.  The steps after the laser time were much worse than the laser itself.  Eye drops galore (some of which were opaque and completely obscured your vision) and mini eye squeegees (really weird when you can't feel it).  Then the ice cube.  Yep.  They stick an ice cube on your eyeball and it's torture.  It doesn't hurt your actual eye (remember, it's numbed).  But it's the worst brain freeze you'll ever experience.  And then the worst part comes....mercilessly ripping the mask off your face. But then they lead you back to the waiting room where you get to sit and rest with an ice pack for a while.

Rocking the sunglasses post-surgery

The morning after LASEK

One of the reasons we chose this clinic in particular was their post-surgery driving service.  They drive you anywhere you need to go in Busan after the surgery.  When we told them we were going to the KTX Station to go back to Ulsan, the nurse just looked at us a moment and walked out.  When she came back, she said that they'd just drive us all the way to our apartment in Ulsan.  I've never been so thankful for anything in my life because that first night sucked.  The doctor jokingly told us after the surgery, "I bet you're asking yourself now, why did I get LASEK instead of LASIK".  The pain wasn't the only problem for me, however.  Alan's eyes, though painful and sensitive, were fine after the surgery.  My eyes, on the other hand, swelled shut within minutes and were swollen for the next 2-3 days.  After the first night however, the pain was manageable.  I at least no longer wanted to rip my eyes out of my head.  And after the first couple of days, the worst part is the irritation from the protective lenses they put in, itchiness, and the cloudy/hazy vision.  We had the procedure done on Saturday evening and, though the nurse strongly recommended me staying home, I was able to go to work Monday morning. My eyes were still pretty swollen that day and I just kept my eyes shut most of the time (yay for coloring days and busywork) and the rest of this week I just wore sunglasses to help with the sensitivity.

There is some post-surgery care and precautions you have to take.  You get four sets of eye drops (color coded for ease)...The anti-inflammatory and anti-bacterial drops are used three times a day.  You get pain drops to help with the pain for the first few days and then you get loads of bottles of artificial tears to help with the dryness.  You're not supposed to rub your eyes (which is harder than it sounds) or get water/sweat in them for two weeks.  You can't drink alcohol for a month after the procedure and it's recommended that you wear sunglasses outside for a couple months.

Six days after the surgery, Alan and I went back to the clinic to have the protective lenses removed.  It felt amazing.  The irritation was immediately gone.  We both still have cloudy and blurry vision and dry eyes, but it's completely tolerable now that those lenses are gone.  Eye drops sharpen our vision, but only for a short while and it should get better in time.  For now, we're both just ecstatic that we don't have super dry contacts in anymore.




In total, the procedure cost us 160 man won or $1600 each.  The total for two sets of nice sunglasses, all the meds, travel costs, and two LASEK procedures was cheaper than one person getting laser eye surgery in the States and the work and service is probably better quality here.   When this recovery process is over, we both should have at least nearly if not totally perfect vision.  I'd definitely say it was worth it and I recommend it for anybody staying here for any length of time.

Survival Korean 101: Hagwon Edition

Yes, I'm an ESL teacher and yes I'm only supposed to speak to my kids in English.  But let's face it, sometimes English doesn't get you anywhere.  Most of my children are 5-7 years old and have had no prior exposure to English.  In a lot of my lessons, I am able to use only English and association to effectively teach them.  But when it comes to discipline, reprimands, and explaining directions, sometimes English will only get you a blank look.  And even if you yourself don't use these Korean phrases, you may hear your Korean co-workers use them.  Not only that, but the children can't express themselves in English.  So what language does a 6 year old resort to when he wants to tell you something?  Korean.   I thought it might be helpful to new teachers starting out in Korea to share the Korean I've picked up that has been extremely useful while teaching.

As a note...many of these phrases are in the informal language.  As a teacher talking to children, you don't have to worry about being overly formal.  If you're going to use them with adults in a non-teaching setting, I'd recommend changing them to the formal language first.

Basics

안녕하세요 (anyeonghaseyo) - hello

안녕 (anyeong) - hi

안녕하십니까 (anyeong hashimnikka) - A more polite way of saying hello.  Often used between co-workers and definitely to your superiors.

안녕히 가세요 (anyeonghee kaseyo) - goodbye

수고하셨습니다 (suguashyasumnida) - can be used in various contexts.  At the end of the day, co-workers often say it as a form of goodbye.  It means essentially, "good work, rest well".




Classroom Control

하지마 (hajima) - It literally translates to "don't do it".    Can be used in the classroom to say "stop it" or "don't do that".

앉아 (anja) - sit down

조용히해 (choyeongi hae) - be quiet

이야기하지마 (iyagi hajima) - don't talk, no talking

저기에 놓어세요 (chogi-eh noheoseyo) - put it over there

일어나 (ileona) - get up/stand up

여기 와 (yeogi wa) - come here

나와 (na wa) - get out...very useful for children who like to play under the tables.

만지지마 (manjijima) - don't touch (it)

들어세요 (deuleoseyo) - listen

앞에 보세요  (ap-pey poseyo) - face front



Giving Directions

찾아 (chaja) - look for/find it...for giving directions on a word search

잘라 (challa) - cut it

*Don't get chaja and challa mixed up.  I'm sure my kids still think I'm crazy from when I gave them a word search and told them to cut it up.  I couldn't figure out whey they kept cutting up their papers and I kept running around saying "no, NO, CHALLAYO!" Upon which they understandably kept cutting their papers to bits.

붙여 (putchyeo) - stick it/glue it...for stickers or pasting

스세요 (suseyo) - write please

적어 (cheogeo) - write  (I've found this word to be more common in my experience)

읽으세요 (ilgeuseyo) - read please

따라하세요 (darahaseyo) - literally translates to "repeat please".  Used to mean "repeat after me".

다시 하세요 (tashi haseyo) - do it again

따라오세요 (dara oseyo) - follow me please

색칠 하세요 (saekchil haseyo) - color it



From the Kids

어떻게 헤요? (Eodeoke heyo?) - How do I do it?

무슨 말이에요? (museun malieyo?) - What do you mean?/What does that mean?

못해요 (moteyo) - I can't do it.

할 수 있어요 (hal su isseoyo) - I can do it.

할게요 (halkeyo) - I'll do it.

모르겠어요 (moleugeseoyo) - I don't know/I don't understand.

몰라요 (mollayo) - I don't know

알아요 (alayo) - I know

알겠어요 (algeseoyo) - translates to "I know".  Used in the context of "I got it/I understand".

다 했어요 (ta haesseoyo) - I did it all/I'm done.

해주세요 (hae chuseyo) - Do it for me please.

싫어요 (shileoyo) - literally translates to "I hate it".  Kids respond with this if they don't want to do something you tell them.

쉬 마려워요 (shwi maleoweoyo) - I've been assured that this is the proper spelling by my Korean co-worker but google translate still doesn't seem to like it.  I think it literally means something along the lines of "I have to pee".  The kids use it to ask if they can use the restroom.

아파요 (apayo) - it hurts

해요? (heyo) - literally translates to "Do I do it?"  In context, it's used to ask if they can start working on an assignment that has been passed out and/or if they should do it now.



Useful Vocabulary

수업 (su-eop) - class

수업 시간 (su-eop shigan) - class time

영어 수업 (yeongeo su-eop) - English class

선생님 (seonsaengnim) - teacher

영어 선생님 (yeongeo seongsaengnim) - English teacher

샘 (sem) - short form meaning teacher, often used between co-teachers to address each other

교실 (kyoshil) - classroom

책상 (chaeksang) - desk

책 (chaek) - book

연필 (yeonpil) - pencil

연필 깎기 (yeonpil kakki) - pencil sharpener

ballpen - this is how they refer to pens

namepen - permanent marker

signpen- coloring markers

색연필 (saekyeonpil) - colored pencil

사무실 (samushil) - office

풀 (pul) - glue

가위 (kawi) - scissors

지우개 (chiugae) - eraser

스티커 (sutika) - sticker



These are words and phrases that I use every single day working in Korea and knowing them upon starting would have made my job much easier.  It is my hope that this brief language guide will help new teachers settle more smoothly into their new jobs.  Happy language learning!

Jeju Island and Spring in Korea

The spring here in Ulsan really is beautiful.  The temperature has been climbing and we wake up to the bright sunlight every morning.  Cherry trees among other flowering plants are ubiquitous and the air has the light, floral smell of springtime on it.  Mundane moments like walking to and from a bus stop were previously filled with tense, shivering muscles and walking as quickly as I could to the warmth of a building.  Now I look forward to stepping outside and enjoying every moment of this warm weather.

Cherry trees at Ulsan University

Alan's Korean class at Ulsan University

Spring has been a pretty busy season for us so far.  Alan is in his second level of an intensive Korean course he's been taking.  Four hours every day of studying Korean have really improved his language skills and, even if he underestimates how well he is doing, I can see the advancements when he speaks.




Alan has also been doing really well in the lab.  Besides his research, he is the primary author on a review article that was recently submitted for publication.  It was reviewed and the feedback was positive and after some minor revisions, I think it should be well on its way to being published.  I'm really proud of him.

Salamanders can apparently get indigestion.
Air accumulates in their
digestive track and they
float upside down.

At the kindergarten, since it's springtime, they has all sorts of fun things going on for the kids.  All of the classes have a lifecycle experiment going on.  We have salamanders and tadpoles out for the kids to observe.  Though I'm pretty sure I sit there and stare at them more than the children.  The tadpoles are enormous now and the salamanders have started developing legs.  I've definitely considered taking one of them home for a pet.

Josh and some of the girls.

The kids also get to take regular field trips out to a forest.  The first time, they learned about different plant species and Josh especially was really excited about it.  After being shown a particular species, he'd run around looking for it with squeals (squeaks?) of victory after every success.  This week, I basically just got to run around and have fun with the kids in the woods.  Definitely appreciating having recess back in my life.

Ballet leotard

Besides work, I signed up for a ballet class a few weeks ago.  Classes are twice a week in the evening conducted entirely in Korean and I'm thoroughly enamored with it.  Being back in a dance environment has made me realize how much I missed it.  And learning something entirely new in a foreign language is quite an experience.  Even more than the every day experience of working in and living around a foreign language, it forces you out of your comfort zone.  And being a completely different context than a school setting, I can pick up new vocabulary that I hadn't previously encountered.  I plan to keep the lessons up for the next four months and appreciate the increased flexibility and body control I'm gaining.  Then when we go back to the states, Alan and I could potentially get back into ballroom again.  Or even some other form of dance.  

Recently, Alan and I took a trip to Jeju Island.  Alan was required to attend and present at the conference there for all the Fulbright scholars and, as his wife, I was able to tag along.  

The view from our hotel room.

We had to get up around 4:30am to catch the bus to the airport on Saturday morning and it was still early morning when we got to the island.  Our first stop was Loveland and it was a pretty amusing experience.  (Make sure you're not at work if you're going to google it.)

We made our way over to the hotel where the conference was held afterwards.  Kal Hotel in Seogwipo.  The place was beautiful.  

The hairs are still in the skin

The Fulbright had dinner for everyone at a hairy back pig bbq restaurant.  And dinner consisted of exactly what you think.  The food was really good.  I even tried some roasted kimchi and enjoyed it.  I just made sure to cut off the skin layer before consuming any of the meat.  I wasn't really feeling a hairball in my stomach.  

VIP room.  

Playing old school Phoenix

Bucket Bell Contest

That evening was the unofficial Fulbright prom held at Monkey Beach bar.  So schwanky.  We had two VIP rooms equipped with karaoke upstairs and the downstairs had an arcade, game room, stage, dance area, and a water slide.  They also had a contest going on for the ladies.  There was a platform with poles spanning its length and a bell at the top of each.  If you could climb up and ring the bell, you won a free bucket of alcohol.  We didn't have to pay a penny the entire evening.  XD

Jusangjeolli volcanic rocks

Sunrise Peak 

Sunday at Jeju was pretty awesome.  We had a full day tour to a few scenic sites around the island.  I wasn't supposed to be able to go, but someone gave up their spot on the tour and said I could have it.  It was a really good day full of good conversation that I feel we both enjoyed.  

Seongeup Folk Village

Cheonjiyeon Waterfall

Seopjikoji

Sometimes it's hard to believe that we only have four months left in Korea.  As excruciatingly slow as it has sometimes felt, this year has flown by.  We have so many plans for what we're doing next but for now everything is just a waiting game.  And so we might as well enjoy what's left of our time here.  We've made some good friends and we're looking forward to more experiences yet to come.  When it comes time, it might turn out that I'm not even ready to leave.  Here's to a great summer with great people.

Why Living Abroad Is Awesome. And Why It Sucks.

I have been living in Korea for six months now and it has been both the best and the hardest thing I’ve ever done for myself.  I have a lot of mixed feelings about being here.  Some days I feel like I can’t stand one more minute in this country.  Others I actually consider extending my stay longer than one year.      

So let me tell you why living abroad is absolutely awesome.

I have become independent. 

I don’t just mean paying my big girl bills on time and working a big girl job.  I mean that I feel confident to go out, do things, figure things out, and travel on my own. I really feel like I can rely on myself.  I definitely appreciated having someone with me the first time I went traveling.  I was pretty terrified after all and the first couple of days were so overwhelming that I can barely even remember them now.  But now with that first experience out of the way, I feel like I could go ahead and do it on my own.  And I plan to.  I might even have a trip up my sleeve for next winter just for myself that I’m pretty excited for.  The confidence that comes with experience is very liberating.  Even just having experienced new and scary things makes other new and scary things less daunting. 

The sights.

There really is a lot to see in this world, both natural and man-made.  The natural scenery that I’ve gotten to see is absolutely beautiful.  Korea, Japan, Hawaii- breathtaking, all of them.  And looking over some of the largest cities in the world at sunset is difficult to describe.  It’s certainly beautiful.  But it makes you feel so small.  A similar feeling to looking out over the ocean for the first time.  Yeah.  An ocean of man-made structures.  You can always look at pictures of places, but seeing them firsthand is an experience that no amount of resolution can replace.

The people.

While living abroad, you not only meet people from the country you’re staying in, but you meet people from all over the world as well.  I thought I had an open mind before.  And I considered myself to be pretty knowledgeable.  I really did.  But when you meet these people from everywhere and you listen to their stories, what their life has been like growing up and otherwise, the things they’ve done, what their country is like, what the countries they’ve been to are like – you realize the extent of your own ignorance.  It instills in you a craving to see and do more, to experience and learn more.  A craving that won’t be satisfied.  Thus begins the addiction to traveling. 

The money.

The cost of living in Korea happens to be much cheaper than living in the States.  So with our salaries, we have been able to take trips to other areas of Korea or even Japan, go out and experience the nightlife and dining, and still build up our savings account. 

The food.

I had a really hard time adjusting to Korean food.  I won’t touch seafood and had a strong aversion to vegetables which cut out most of the Korean diet.  After being served Korean food for lunch every day for six months, I’ve adapted a bit.  (I still will never touch seafood, but I’ve at least warmed up to the vegetable thing.)  Now that I will actually eat some Korean food, the benefit of it is that it’s all really healthy.  There’s not a whole lot of processed or fatty food here like back in the States and all the portion sizes are normal for a single meal.  So there’s much less over-eating and what you do eat is significantly healthier. 

Culture differences.

 There are some things about Korean culture that are really excellent.  At the grocery store, for example, your groceries are not put into plastic bags.  You box everything up into recycled boxes and take it home.  You can even have it delivered to your home if you want.  Carrying a single box is much easier and more efficient than using ten million plastic bags.  And it doesn’t kill your fingers either.  Or at restaurants, instead of your waiter constantly coming to check on you with that awkward interruption of conversation, there’s a button on every table.  If you need something, you push the button and page your waiter.   Or public transport. Public transport is awesome here.  And cheap.  This is something that the US doesn’t really have and really really needs.  Sure, some of the bigger cities have some subways or bus systems going.  But most of the country is seriously lacking in its public transport services.  The U.S. really needs to get on the ball. 

I’ve listed off why living in Korea is pretty great.  But now let me tell you why it sucks. 

Culture Differences

There are a lot of things about Korean culture that drive me up a wall.  The lack of any sort of organization or planning is the biggest one. When it comes time for something, nothing’s ever ready and it’s all just thrown together. It really doesn’t help that there’s no communication at all and no one ever knows what’s going on.  I’ve gotten pretty good at doing things on the fly because everything is done last minute and I’m never told anything.

The whole hagwon institution really gets under my skin too.  Hagwons are private “schools” in Korea that exist for the sole purpose of making money.  Teaching the students and seeing to it that they learn something doesn’t matter.  As long as the parents are happy and keep paying the school to “educate” their child then it doesn’t matter.  The customer, I mean the parent, is always right after all.  These kids end up in classes that are way above their level and they sit there not paying attention, cheating, and doing whatever they can to get by because it’s far too advanced for them.  And then when it’s time, we bump the whole class up a level.  It doesn’t matter that half of them failed the level test.  The parents want to see that the kids are “improving”.  And by that I mean that on paper they can see that their kid graduated from level 9 to 10 and that looks good to them.  It doesn’t matter that the kid can’t read and needs to go back to the basics.  If you tell the parents that the kid should go back to level 3, they’ll be outraged.  And they won’t pay you money anymore.  Best not say anything and let the kid keep cheating to keep up.  Oh and don’t forget field trips!  That should be fun right?  The kids should have a good time and hopefully learn something while they’re at it.  Er, yeah.  Sure.  How about instead, we line them up at various picture points, snap photos, and then take them back to school.  That way there’s proof that the kids “had fun”.  Don’t let them explore that science museum or anything.  Pictures only.  Or how about that time we had to cancel the school musical because the parents kept complaining about the parts their kid got?  Even after drawing parts out of a hat?  Yeah…

Loneliness.

To move abroad, you generally have to leave everything behind.  Your friends, your family, your job, your favorite places, your possessions, everything.  And you watch as everyone’s life goes on without you.  You see pictures of your friends without you at the activities that you used to do with them.  You feel like an outsider in your own family because everyone is together and making memories that you won't be a part of.  You try to set up skype dates, text, email, or message your friends and family.  But the reality is that your relationships fade.  And you realize that people you used to see every week-sometimes multiple times a week- you haven’t even spoken to in six months. 

But you’ll make new friends! Yeah, yeah.  And those of you who are out of school now are probably realizing this too- It’s pretty damn hard to make friends once you graduate.  Proximity facilitates friend-making.  The people you see all the time-in class, in your dorm, at club activities end up becoming your friends.  When you don’t have those opportunities in your life anymore, it becomes much more difficult to develop relationships with people. 

And that’s not all.  When you live in an expat community, people come and go as often as Hollywood marriages.  You hang out with someone a few times, decide to get to know them, and then you find out they’re leaving the country in a week, a month, whatever and you’ll never see them again. Someone mentioned this to me recently and I have to agree.  You almost have to ask someone how long they’re staying before trying to build friendships because sometimes it just doesn’t feel worth it.  Goodbyes are hard and painful.  And an expat’s life seems to be full of them.  It certainly hinders the friendship-making process when your would-be friends (or  you) pack up and leave as you just start to get to know each other. 

So yes, I've done and seen a lot while I've been here.  I've grown as an individual and as a partner in my marriage and I've enjoyed a lot of things while staying here.  But sometimes it's really hard.  The benefits don't always seem to outweigh the costs and that can make it hard to appreciate my time here.   However, I do know that I am grateful for the chance to live abroad and that it probably won't be my last time doing so.  It certainly won't be my last time traveling at least.