Our flight to Korea leaves in less than two weeks. I must say, the last few weeks have been hard for me. All the goodbyes, and all of the realizations that "hey, I'll probably never see this person again" are really difficult to deal with. I think Alan's handling it better than I am. He's got a more optimistic view on it. Though, he's done this once before already. It's something I keep having to shove to the back of my mind because if I actively think about it, I'll probably start crying. Again.
That's not to say I'm not excited. I'm very excited. We're spending our first couple of days in Seoul and seeing the city will be absolutely amazing. From the research that Alan's done, I think there's plenty of salsa dancing in Ulsan, where we'll live. I get to learn a whole new language, something that I've always excelled at, and have a perfect opportunity to actually use it. Lots of hiking. It'll be awesome.
But my excitement is taking a back seat to my anxiety right now.
It's just, well, in college, I had friends, yes. But in general, the group of people I hung out with changed every year. I've finally reached a place in my life where I feel that I've developed some stable relationships. And I'm leaving it all behind. I'm going to a place where I know no one, can't speak the language (yet), am not familiar with the culture, and probably won't like the food. I'm not good with directions when I can actually read everything. What's going to happen when I get lost (and I guarantee you I will) in Korea? It sounds like a very lonely existence. Especially since it'll most likely take us a while to make some friends. I've also signed a contract to work as a kindergarten ESL teacher for the first year we're there. It's probably going to be the hardest job I've ever and will ever have. I don't know how to interact with children. Absolutely zero experience with them. Add in the fact that I'm not allowed to speak Korean to them (they want total immersion) and they probably can't understand English. O.O How am I supposed to do this? I'm sort of terrified.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not doubting my decision. At all. I've always wanted to live in a foreign country. And I'd have to kick myself pretty hard if I let Alan walk out of my life. And you know that friend situation I was just ranting about? Well, turns out that most of our good friends are moving away (or have already) anyways! It's like this was all meant to be. And every time I think of something that makes me doubt that, some sort of tie to my life here, it's severed. There's nothing left for me here anymore. Ohio has given me the boot. It's definitely time to move on to the next stage of my life.
Knowing that just doesn't make it any easier.
-Jessie
Where are you staying in Seoul?
ReplyDeleteI would do yourselves a favor and not take a taxi from Incheon. There's an airport railroad (AREX) underneath Incheon - signs will be in English and easy to follow - that will take you to a few key destinations in the city cheaper and quicker.
Itaewon station on subway line 6 (I believe the stop number is 621) in Seoul has an English tourist booth with tons of maps, guides, etc. It's all free - they'll also give coupons for local sites.
When you're in Seoul get the MetroPass (you can buy them in nearly every convenience store in a subway, then you load them in subway machines) so you can transfer from line to line (and buses) with ease - get the prepaid one, not the weekly/monthly one.
ALL of the subways in Seoul are also in English (along with many menus and street signs).
The food is DELICIOUS!!!
Hey! Thanks for the advice! I think we're staying somewhere more suburbish, near the Fulbright Committee? (I think that's what Alan told me??) He did say we'd have to take a bus. He's on a plane to Colorado at the moment. But I can get specific details when he lands. :D
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